> From: rodolfo bibolotti <rbibolotti@nvida.com.pe>
> To: "'c-ficcion@rcp.net.pe'" <c-ficcion@rcp.net.pe>
> Subject: [C-FICCION] X-mas files
> Date: Thu, 11 Dec 1997 20:18:36 -0500
> >Hola.
> >Este es un texto que saqué de The Dominion del Sci-Fi Channel el año pasado.
> >Santa Claus. Father Christmas. Jolly old Saint Nick. Tales of his prodigous
> >powers are known the world over but his existance remains...unverified. This
> >year, The Dominion hopes to change all that, answering once and for all who
> >or what is Santa Claus.
> >
> >
> >It seems clear that "Santa" is given credit for deeds that are beyond the
> >capabilites of mortal men. On Christmas eve he supposedly visits every home
> >in the world, dispensing a seemingly endless supply of gifts and consuming
> >staggering amounts of cookies and milk. Moreover, he's been sighted soaring
> >through the skies in an aerodynamically unsound sleigh, outfitted with flying
> >reindeer. His toys are produced in a hidden sweatshop located in the environs
> >of the North Pole and, if the prevailing accounts are to be believed, are
> >manufactured by diminutive men with genetically mutated ears. Finally, he is
> >rumored to mastermind the world's largest espionage network, maintaining a
> >database of not only the names and addresses of every man, woman and child on
> >the planet but further dividing the world's population into those who have
> >been "bad" and "good" during the prior twelve months. The criteria involved
> >in distinguising the "bad" from the "good" are known only to "Santa," and all
> >decisions are final.
> >
> >
> >
> >READ THE LEADING
> >SANTA THEORIES VIEW & SUBMIT
> >FIELD REPORTS REVIEW
> >OUR ANALYSIS
> >
> >------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >Just what do we know about Father Christmas, and what information can we
> >extrapolate from the evidence at hand? The following theories have been
> >submitted to the X-Mas Files for your consideration:
> >
> >
> >Cybernetic Santa
> >The logistics and information management demands associated with the
> >traditional functions of Santa Claus are clearly beyond the capabilities of
> >any human entity. Additionally, the physical stresses encountered in
> >traveling at velocities sufficient to visit every home in the world are more
> >than unaided human tissue can withstand. Moreover, the Santa Claus mythos has
> >been with us for over a century; consequently, Santa himself would have
> >advanced far beyond the age at which most men would be able to slide down
> >chimneys. Armed with these three observations it's not unreasonable to jump
> >to the conclusion that Santa Claus has undergone some "enhancements" to
> >extend his lifespan and capabilities beyond what's biologically possible.In
> >fact it seems quite likely that St. Nick is on the cutting edge of cybernetic
> >technology, having replaced some or all of his organic "wetware" with
> >cybernetic enhancements. Estimates on how much of the original biological
> >Santa remains vary widely, with the most extreme theorists concluding that
> >there's little left beyond his white beard and his "Ho, ho, ho!"
> >
> >
> >Communist Conspiracy
> >
> >One perennial explanation for the Santa phenomenon is that "Claus" and his
> >comrades represent a communist effort to undermine the moral fiber of our
> >youth and the free enterprise of our commercial toy manufacturers. According
> >to this theory, Santa's workshop is little more than communist workers'
> >collective, flooding our market with free toys in order to bring our economic
> >system to its knees. Proponents of this theory also point to the red Santa
> >suit and the dictator-like beard as signs of Santa's Bolshevik origins. In
> >recent years, the fall of the Soviet Union has somewhat diminished the
> >credibility of this theory. Moreover, the origins of Santa Claus by most
> >accounts predate the invention of Communism, casting further doubt on its
> >validity.
> >
> >
> >Extraterrestrial Intervention
> >
> >With Area 51 and "alien autopsies" in the news of late, it seems that
> >one cannot safely rule out the possibility that Santa is an extraterrestrial.
> >Certainly alien spacecraft would be able to perform the necessary travel
> >associated with Santa's yearly rounds. And advanced "replicator" technology
> >could handle the production demands of large-scale toymaking. His elves, it
> >follows, would be colorfully garbed aliens and his North Pole workshop merely
> >an out-of-the-way landing pad for his UFO. The familiar reindeer-and-sleigh
> >associated with Pere Noel might simply be a futuristic "cloaking device"
> >designed to confuse and obscure Santa's extraterrestrial origins. It is
> >comforting to consider the possibility that unknown alien friends are making
> >our world a little nicer through these concealed acts of altruism, perhaps in
> >accordance with some non-interference "directive." Of course, this theory
> >doesn't explain the numerous tales of alien abductions and obtrusive on-craft
> >experiments. One view: the infamous alien "probe" is simply a "thermometer"
> >for detecting who's been naughty and who's been nice.
> >
> >
> >Santa Clones
> >
> >As it is difficult to imagine one man doing all the work for which Santa is
> >given credit, the likelihood of an army of jolly, rotund Santa Clones becomes
> >easier and easier to envision. A collection of "regional" Santas can far more
> >easily manage the production and delivery assigments, as well as provide a
> >more "hands-on" approach to their respective constituencies. After the
> >holiday, the Santa Clones relocate to their North Pole sanctuary where they
> >are put "on ice" until next year's Christmas season. One advantage of this
> >theory is that it also neatly explains the proliferation of Santas in
> >shopping malls and street corners throughout the month of December.<Imagen>
> >
> >
> >Time Travel
> >
> >With unlimited time, no task is insurmountable. This observation is
> >the foundation upon which the Santa Time Travel theory is constructed. A
> >time-stopping and time-skipping device would permit Santa to throw the world
> >into stasis and deliver toys to the children of the world in less than the
> >blink of an eye. And by hopping from year to year, Santa can fulfill his task
> >year after year without appreciably aging. Although no conventional means of
> >time travel have yet been invented, it is conceivable that Santa is a
> >benevolent being from our future who is using technology developed many
> >centuries hence to bring holiday cheer to us, his distant ancestors. Who
> >knows - red suits and white beards may be all the rage centuries from now.
> >
> >
> >Nano-Claus
> >
> >Our final entry in the X-Mas Files discounts all the outward trappings
> >associated with Santa Claus. The suit, the sleigh, Rudolph, Mrs. Claus - all
> >are part of a propagandistic smokescreen designed to cover up what's really
> >at work: a secret goverment experiment in nanotechnology.Nanotech is the
> >burgeoning new science of the super-small - machines no more than a few atoms
> >across that work in conjuction with thousands of other such machines to build
> >items atom by atom. Thus, what we refer to as "Santa" is merely trilions of
> >atom-sized machines that auto-activate on Christmas Eve to create toys the
> >world over. The protons, neutrons and electrons combine with energy and
> >matter contained in a common glass of milk and a couple of cookies
> >(preferably chocolate chip) to fuel these marvels of miniaturization. While
> >this new theory cannot yet be fully substatiated, to date the government has
> >denied any knowledge of a top secret nanotech "Santa Project." We leave it to
> >you to draw your own conclusions.
> >
> >
> >------------------------------------------------------------------------